February 21, 2013 by athenahm
I hate baby showers. I hate run-of-the-mill baby shower games, and how ridiculous, tacky, and oftentimes, physically off-putting they are. I hate pastels, little fuzzy, too-sincere cartoon animals, and let’s not forget games that make the mom feel all that much worse about her body, because you are estimating how fat she has become. The entire event has become a PC degrading portent of the horrors of motherhood that the mom has yet to face. Who came up with this shit? If you have ever thrown a shower for someone and done these things, don’t feel bad. It is just what has always been done, and you didn’t know any better. Hell, I am guilty of it, myself. But we can build it better. There is another way.
So, when my good friend became pregnant, and it fell to me to throw her a short notice, next-to-no-resources surprise baby shower(We have shipped all of our things, and are living with temporary furniture in a temporary house. Also, this base is tiny with a VERY limited selection of just about everything, and unfortunately, shipped items don’t get here for 3-4 weeks most times.), I wanted to make it a new kind of shindig. I wanted to tailor it specifically to the parents, and I wanted to make it about celebrating them as individuals, because even though this was not their first kid, every parent needs to be reminded that they are so much more than a parent.
My friend’s favorite colors are, and to my knowledge, always have been, red and black. She is having a boy, and this particular family is very musically inclined and a little punkrock(in a very awesome way) as a collective personality. It seemed natural to make it a red and black themed Rock ‘n Roll party. All of the guests were instructed to come decked out in their best Rockabilly attire. Unfortunately, we were all having far too much fun for me to take adequate pictures of cool outfits/makeup and everything else, but I got the food and the sock monkey diaper cake, so you’re welcome. I know you were worried about the monkey for a minute, there. This post is not a step-by-step, it’s more of an idea bank for similar shindigs, but if you have questions about the how-to, just let me know in the comments, and I will try to get you up to speed, considering it was a collaborative effort.
We also played “Pin-the-Sperm-on-the-Egg”, which was so much better than sticking my nose is a diaper with a melted candy bar in it. The only other game we played was “Mom or Dad: whose fault was it?”, in which the goal was to match the mom’s answers as much as possible about who the kid picked up the habit from when they got in trouble for specific things, i.e.- They jumped off the roof onto the trampoline, Mom’s or Dad’s influence? We had some fun with that one. Most of the rest of the time was spent opening presents and scaring the living shit out of the non-moms in the room with horror stories of parenthood.
For decorations, We hung red/black streamers all over the place, as well as black and red balloons. My super-creative friend, A. was responsible for all of the off-the-charts decorations, of which I did not get pictures of the banner, but it was personalized rockabilly awesomesauce. Here are some of the other decorations that A. lovingly labored over for us. A thousand thanks to A. and S. for their hard work.
You can find Sailor Jerry’s commemorative website, here.
The baby shower was a complete and total success, and the mother-to-be was completely surprised, and so happy that she had to go hide in the bathroom and compose herself for a moment before rejoining us and calling me an asshole. I consider that a victory, through and through. I hope you got some good ideas, and once again, a huge thanks to all of my friends who helped me pull this off and keep it a secret for 3 weeks. Love you guys.
I started another blog for all of the other stuff I am interested in, and consider worth sharing with the world. Come join me at The Not-So-Standard Issue Spouse. We talk about all kinds of controversial stuff over there, so brace yourself.
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